Category: News

Barnardos Child, Youth and Family Services (CYFS) Program Manager, Gethin Cadwaladr, shares his insights about the challenges families and children who have experienced domestic and family violence face and also their resilience.

Hi, I’m Gethin Cadwaladr and I’ve been with Barnardos for five years now, initially as a Family Support Worker for the Child, Youth and Family Service (CYFS) at the Auburn Children’s Family Center and currently the CYFS Program Manager. CYFS consists of five different programs, which include Family Support/Intensive Family Support, Domestic and Family Violence, Youth and Counselling Programs.

I am fortunate to be in a job that I’m very passionate about. It may sound cliché, but the most rewarding part of my job is getting to work with the families who are referred to our programs. The resilience they show constantly blows me away. Some of the stories they share are harrowing and it’s hard to fathom that these stories are their lived experiences. I’m grateful that I get to play a part in making them safer, building their capacity to parent, supporting them to make safer choices, building their confidence and hopefully starting the process of healing from trauma. I also get to experience and learn about different cultures, which is a beautiful way to connect with people.

As a child, I dreamt of growing up and playing football for Liverpool FC. I was definitely a dreamer (or delusional). Unfortunately, it was evident early on that I wasn’t going to live out my childhood dream so after trying out several roles in various industries, I found my calling in the welfare sector, specifically family support. Having previously worked for Barnardos Cymru (Wales), I knew what a great organisation it was to work for and how Barnardos’ vision aligned with my beliefs and values. From experience, I knew the wraparound service Barnardos offers ensures comprehensive, holistic and appropriate supports for families, which in turn leads to better outcomes.

It’s a sad reality that not enough is being done for children and families experiencing Domestic and Family Violence (DFV). Too often DFV is placed in the “too hard box” and organisations such as The Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ), Police and the Courts have not implemented an appropriate DV lens when working with families who are trying to escape DFV.

I think education and early intervention in primary schools is key. This needs to be part of the curriculum so that appropriate relationships are discussed at an early age. This would hopefully make DFV become less taboo, less socially acceptable, and more openly spoken about so that more families can feel safe and comfortable to reach out for help when they need it.

If we had more funding for specific DFV housing/refuge in the Cumberland area it would be beneficial. In addition, funding for Stay Home Leaving Violence is needed in Auburn and the surrounding suburbs. This would give us the brokerage to pay for essentials for keeping families safe like; security cameras, changing locks, putting locks on windows, security cameras in cars etc.

I would also love to see additional specific DFV support workers. And for all staff to be trained on how not to collude with men who choose to use violence. Specialist training needs to be provided for working with perpetrators. This is an extremely complex field and, in my opinion, needs intensive and specialist training to ensure that we increase the safety and wellbeing of survivors and their children. The danger is that without this training, collusion can occur, or we endanger and make it worse for the survivors.

It would be great to have accredited men’s DFV groups to be facilitated by Barnardos. With 70% of men who choose to use violence having regular contact with their children, we need to ensure that we are engaging with men, to ensure that the behaviour is highlighted. Working with men will continue to increase the safety of the survivors and their children.

Additional counselling supports are also badly needed. In an ideal world, all our clients would be provided with counselling support. I am lucky enough to manage the Counselling Program here at Auburn, which allows us to provide a wraparound service. Many of our families who are working with our specialist DFV Case Worker also access our counselling support. This allows for our survivors to heal from the effects of trauma, which is one of our Practice Framework Principles.

Like everyone, my work comes with its fair share of frustrations and challenges. But what keeps me going is knowing that peoples’ lives are better because I went to work that day. Our role here at Barnardos can often be heavy with distress, and I encourage everyone to take care of themselves so we can continue providing our services to those who need it most.

A Kingsville cyclist is travelling 1000 kilometres in the month of October to raise money for a cause close to his heart.

Greig Kearney is participating in The Champions Ride, a Barnardos campaign which gets people on their bikes to raise money for children suffering abuse and neglect.

An abuse survivor himself, he said his earliest memories were of violence in the home.

“Dad was an aggressive and violent drunk,” Mr Kearney said

“He was what is now known as a binge drinker.

“Friday night was often the time that he came home and would be angry.”

He said his father was verbally, physically, and financially abusive.

Mr Kearney said he wished there were services like Barnardos available to him.

“As a child I wish I had some stability and believed that I was loved,” he said.

“This is going to sound terrible, but I used to wish that my own father would be killed in an industrial accident at work and that we would get some money and could ‘live happily ever after’.

“Early intervention would have helped.”

Mr Kearney said he wants his children to feel safe.

“I want to give them an arena to thrive in, to allow them to be kids and explore who they are, so they can reach their potential,” he said.

“All children should be given this opportunity.”

Last year, The Champions Ride raised close to $195,000 and participants rode more than 80,000 kilometres.

The goal for this year’s challenge is $350,000.

Mr Kearney has already ridden almost 350 kilometres and raised more than $800 of his $1500 goal.

There is still time to sign up for your own Champions Ride or to donate to campaigns like Mr Kearney’s.

Barnados advocates for the safety of children at risk of abuse and neglect, providing family support programs and services which empower children to reach their full potential.

Details: www.championsride.org.au/fundraisers/greigkearney

Article by Liam McNally

This article first appeared in The Star Weekly

*Kate is a domestic violence survivor. She is still dealing with the aftermath of the abuse and so are her children.
CREDIT: LOUISE KENNERLEY

Kate* was seven months pregnant with her fifth child when her partner threw her into a wall. The violence “was escalating really badly,” so in the middle of the night she woke her children, ushered them silently into the car, and drove away.

She is still dealing with the aftermath of the abuse. So are her children, who are learning to make sense of all that happened. One son told her, “I remember grabbing the phone and hiding under the bed. I wanted to call the police but I was too scared.”

A new study of children’s experiences of family violence has shed light on the trauma they suffer and the lack of help available, with survivors saying it led to decades’ worth of emotional damage, but their attempts to get help were either ignored or made the abuse worse.

The joint project between Barnardos Australia and Sydney University asked adult victims about their memories of abuse. Most respondents were women, and the abuse – mostly verbal, physical and psychological – was perpetrated by their father or stepfather.

Almost half were younger than four when it began. For two-thirds, the abuse lasted most of their childhood. Some had no idea the violence wasn’t normal until they were older. Others were weighed down by the burden of the secret they were ordered to keep.

For years afterwards, many of those children have struggled with low self-esteem, not feeling safe and lacking trust in others. Some sought help at the time, from their mother, siblings, a friend or counsellor. But mostly their attempt didn’t work – either nothing changed or the abuse got worse.

“After I told my teacher that I would cop a beating if I got bad grades, my third-grade teacher gave me all As in my end-of-year report card,” said one. “Whilst I appreciate the gesture, there was no follow-up afterwards.”

Sometimes, the person they told did not intervene. Other times, they accused the child of making it up, the survivors told the study. Many were too afraid to tell anyone, worrying it would make things worse or feeling there wasn’t anything anyone could do.

“You cannot be in a household with domestic violence without being involved, you’re hearing it, you’re seeing it. We are still at the early stages of understanding what that means for kids.” National Children’s Commissioner Anne Hollonds.

“I never told anyone about it because it was shameful,” said one respondent. “I didn’t want to embarrass my mum, our family, and my dad even though he was the main aggressor.” Another said, “I didn’t realise that it wasn’t normal. I had seven siblings, we looked after one another.”

University of Melbourne Professor Cathy Humphreys said the survivors’ stories left no doubt of the long shadow family violence cast into adult life, and the “chilling effects it had in childhood”.

“The response to children and young people asking for help was distressingly poor. They were not believed, they were punished further, their perceptions were questioned, they were identified as liars. The alternative of calling out abusive adults was too hard for many of the professionals the children encountered,” Humphreys said.

The problem is widespread; estimates suggest about 2.5 million Australian adults experienced abuse before the age of 15, the report said. Past research has also shown there’s a delay of six years between services becoming aware of violence in a home, and the children getting support.

National Children’s Commissioner Anne Hollonds said children have “been invisible, historically” in the domestic and family violence field. “It’s seen as between adults, without recognition that children are there, and they’re not just witnesses,” she said.

“You cannot be in a household with domestic violence without being involved, you’re hearing it, you’re seeing it. We are still at the early stages of understanding what that means for kids.”

Barnardos’ Head of Knowledge, Outcomes and Research, Dr Robert Urquhart, who led the study, said it showed child victims of family violence needed immediate and effective trauma-informed counselling and therapy. “Adults fail to notice the signs of abuse and intervene,” he said.

The chief executive of Barnardos, Deirdre Cheers, said most family violence organisations were focused on adults. “Working with children is specialist work, the areas of developmental and educational psychology are clear that children have specific needs,” she said.

Kate’s children are recovering from the trauma of watching their stepfather terrorise their mother. “But I see that a lot of their trauma could have been dealt with earlier on, through accessing a child psychologist or a play therapist,” she said.

Families could access 10 free sessions with a doctor’s referral, but “when you’re coming out of this, you need it weekly,” she said. “Ten sessions is not even going to scratch the surface. Trauma cuts deep and has a way of bubbling back up. Children need a long-term solution with long-term outcomes.”

*Kate is a pseudonym to protect her identity.

National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counselling Line: 1800 737 732.

This article first appeared in The Sydney Morning Herald. 

I’m Penny Hood, Executive Leader, Children & Families with Barnardos Australia. I’m doing the Champions Ride with my 14-year-old daughter Evelina Gutierrez-Hood (read Evelina’s story below)

At first, I just signed up for myself. However, when I mentioned this to Evelina – and that you could do it as a team – she wanted to be involved. Straight off the bat she thought of our team name – Biker Babes – and wanted to know how soon we could practice and where would we go.

I also saw firsthand how unifying this event was for the organisation last year. People were really committed, and it created a strong sense of camaraderie. I couldn’t do it last year because of my knee replacement and felt like I was missing out!

The Champions Ride unites two of my greatest passions – working with children and their families – and exercise. I want to use the Champions Ride to push my own boundaries and raise valuable funds for kids in need.

For me, any opportunity to go riding is treasured. I have loved the different practice rides we have been on to date – which has been a mix of weekend and weekday evenings. I also appreciate that this is giving me a greater appreciation for my local community.

We are hoping to ride from our place to Coogee beach which is a 36 km round trip. Doing this each weekend in October would get us to our goal of 150kms. Participating in the Champions Ride with my daughter has strengthened our relationship. We’re spending more time together, have something to bond over and I love that this provides us with an opportunity to just be with each other!

Evelina Gutierrez-Hood (Penny’s Daughter)

My name is Evelina Gutierrez-Hood and I am 14 years old. I am doing the Champions Ride to raise money to help kids in need as well as get out in the fresh air and improve my health and fitness.

I love riding in the late morning, especially when it is sunny and warm. I love the fresh morning air and the beaming sun.

Since the actual rides start in October, my mum and I have been preparing by going on smaller bike rides to prepare ourselves for the longer rides we will be doing later on. So far, we have ridden along the Bay Run as well as the Cooks River path.

I am so excited to ride the streets of Sydney with my mum and raise money for all the kids in need. I would also like to thank all the people that have helped by donating and supporting us!

You can find out more or sign up here.

Photo of foster carer Dalal with Barnardos Australia CEO Deirdre Cheers

WARM-hearted Dalal burst into tears when she was told that more than 45,000 children in Australia were unable to safely live with their families and that Barnardos desperately needed foster carers.

Giving children a safe, stable and nurturing family environment, foster carers look after a child for a few months, years or for the rest of their lives through open adoption.

“When I heard about so many traumatised babies and children, I knew in my heart that I needed to help,” Dalal said.

“The first child I cared for was a baby, so tiny at only two-months-old.

“Her mother had such severe stress she could not take care of her baby.

“I knew it hurt her, as I could see that she loved her baby very much.

“She was so scared her baby would call me ‘mama’ and forget about her, but I reassured her she would always be the child’s mother and I could be ‘grandma’.”

In her care for two years and three months, the baby was not the only one that Dalal turned out to be helping.

“I actually brought her family together,” she said.

“The family distanced themselves because they didn’t know what to do.

“After they saw bub doing well and mum improving, they began supporting her again. It was beautiful to see.”

Dalal says Allah wants us to help others as much as we can and being a foster carer is a wonderful way to do his work.

“If you are thinking of being a foster carer, just try it,” she said. “It will change your life, like it has changed mine.”

As well as getting an allowance to cover the child’s food, milk, nappies, medication or other needs, Barnardos provides wonderful support to carers.

To find out how you could make a difference in a child’s life, call 1800 663 441 or barnardos.org.au

This article first appeared in the Auburn Review here.

R U OK? Day encourages everyone to meaningfully connect with the people around them and start a conversation with those who may be struggling with life.

Barnardos Australia was invited to comment on the Exposure Draft Bill criminalising coercive control in intimate partner relationships. Read here.

Last year, Barnardos nominated a number of our carers for the My Forever Family Carer Recognition Awards. Due to COVID, the awards were delayed and have only now been awarded. congratulations to the amazing Barbara Wallish who received an award. Below is her nomination, certificate and a video featuring her and her foster son Scott.

Barbara Wallisch has been a carer for Barnardos for over 24 years. Barbara has adopted two children (now aged 33 and 23) and has cared for siblings, a boy, now 20 years of age, and his sister 19 years of age, since they were three and two years of age respectively. These siblings have significant autism, and struggled in their younger years, requiring lots of support and special education.

Barbara has always believed in the importance of focusing on ability and not disability, with the result that the boy has obtained his license and has a job and his sister holds down a job as well. They have been supported from a young age that they can do anything that they put their mind to, and have been taught by Barbara independent living skills, and as such have the ability to cook and look after themselves in general.

In addition to the children as mentioned above, Barbara has always been available to take children who need a safe place to land on short notice, providing Intake care, respite care and crisis care. She is a carer that can always be relied upon to help out in a crisis. She is currently caring for a little two year old girl because her permanent placement has ended, until such time as she is moved into permanent care. In addition, Barbara runs family day care from her home and loves her work with young children.

Barbara has been a wonderful mother to her four children as mentioned above and to many many more children who have been touched by her love, compassion and care.

Congratulations Barbara Wallisch.